A Difference in Perspective

Happy Tuesday! I just wanted to take a moment to share a story with you all.

Tuesday mornings are pretty hectic for me. I have to get my little ones up and ready so I can drop my oldest off to school. Then we rush home to pack up the car and head to gymnastics for my 3 year old. We usually carpool with my sister and her daughter who also go to gymnastics.

This morning there was a snow day because of the coming snowstorm. That is quite alright with me. Unfortunately I hadn’t heard any news of gymnastics being cancelled so I continued with my routine of getting the little ones ready to head out for our weekly 45 minute drive.

My sister was right on time picking us up which is good since I have stitches in my hand, driving is a challenge for me. We got the children packed up into the car and headed out into the road. It started to snow but not bad so we figured we were in the clear.

Upon arriving to the building for gymnastics we were displeased to find that classes had been cancelled and no notice had been given ahead of time. I didn’t find it too big a deal and hopped back in the car to head back home. My sister on the other hand was livid. The 45 minute drive back was full of venting and threats of sending a nasty email to the owner.

Some may say I was being too nice as I was talking my sister out of sending this email. After all, it was our fault for not calling ahead of time to double check. This situation just made me realize that while I try to not get too heated about little things out of my control, there are people who are quick to anger and find even the little things to be the most inconvenient. I love my sister and would never speak ill of her, but her reaction surprised me and left me thinking about how situations make us act.

In response to the snowstorm, many people are upset about the snow and cold weather. While I would love for it to be sunny and beautiful all year round, I live in upstate New York and February is supposed to be snowy and cold. I am by no means saying individuals cannot complain. I simply think we should as a whole step back sometimes and see things from a different perspective.

I hope everyone has a happy and blessed Tuesday.

Feeling Cursed

After a situation yesterday, I want to know when I broke a mirror, dropped salt, walked under a ladder, or let a black cat cross my path. I don’t usually fall for superstitions, but I have the worst luck. It seems that if something bad is going to happen it happens to me.

My husband and brother in law were just teasing me a week ago about my bad luck. Allow me to explain: in September my dog savagely ripped the screen out of my back door after I put her outside to go to the bathroom, at the end of October we put down our family dog because he was very old and sick, at the beginning of December I had to put my kitten down because his bladder ruptured, in January I got the stomach bug and ended up in the hospital because I was dehydrated and my chest hurt, Also in January just a couple weeks ago my back door came off the hinges as I opened it to let my dogs outside and yesterday I had to go to the emergency room because I cut my hand and needed stitches.

I have no idea where this strand of bad luck is coming from. I try to stay positive, but lately I have been struggling because it’s just one thing after another.

Today I am attempting to go about my normal day taking care of my children while having limited use of my right hand. If anyone wants to send some good luck my way I’d greatly appreciate it.

Unintended Hiatus

After a long talk with my sister for much of the afternoon yesterday, a discussion with my husband last night, and talking to my mom this morning, I realize that there are some personal changes I need to make in order to stay true to my resolution of living for myself.

I have spent the last week and a half feeling overwhelmed which in turn sparked my depression to the Max. I pride myself in being the rock of my family. I feel it is my duty to put the needs of my kids, husband, and the rest of my family above my own. I have been overwhelmed because I took on the sole responsibility of planning Valentine’s gifts for my son’s kindergarten class, planning my son’s 3rd birthday party and my daughter’s first birthday party which are a couple weeks apart, and get everything finalized for my husband and my trip in 2 months. This has proven to be quite a lot for one person to handle and I have realized that I need to lean on others when things get to be too much.

On top of all this, I lost sight of why I started this blog to begin with. I did this for me. So I could live for myself. Much discussion has helped me get back on the right path. It’s not going to be easy. There are going to be many challenges and rough patches. There’s only one way to go and it’s forward. Here is my vow to not lose sight of my goals no matter how out of reach they may seem.

How do you stay on track with your short term and long term goals? What do you do to get through the rough patches?

Seeking Out Professional Advice

I’ve challenged myself to take up writing again this year. It has been over 6 years that I took a break. I felt it was about time for me to finally follow my dreams. I decided to take the chance and I contacted one of my favorite authors. To my surprise, she replied back to my email rather quickly. This all happened about 2 weeks ago. I have spent the last 2 weeks really taking in everything she said and finding ways to implement the advice she gave into my very busy lifestyle.

I have become a slave to routine. It’s unfortunate really since that is something that I have always vowed to never happen. I grew up that way and never wanted that for my grown up life or for my kids. Breaking out of a habit is more difficult than it seems. I’m still working on it, but I am optimistic that with patience I can figure it all out. But, with this habit of routine, I have found that I have purposely not allowed myself much free time and, instead, have devoted every second of the day to tending to my children. Not a bad thing for sure, but, as many have said, self care is as important to raising children as actually spending time with the children. So, now is the time for self care.

I think the part of the email I received that has really stuck with me is that she pointed out that some great writers never get published and some bad writers do and that nothing is guaranteed. This has really stuck with me because, as I have pointed out previously, my greatest fear is to fail. I don’t want to be clumped in with the great writers that never see their work in a shelf. My dream of being published has been a dream of mine for such a long time that I am terrified to not make it come true. I took the last 2 weeks contemplating my next move and part wondering what is the point. Obviously nothing in life is guaranteed, I just sometimes would like something’s to be guaranteed. I’ve moved past this point. There’s still the fear and the worry, but unless I try I’ll never know.

Other memorable advice was to set aside time every day to write about a topic that I would be excited to return to each time. I’m working on finding how to change my routines to fit in my time for myself. This is a work in progress.

As I pointed out in a post, great writers read great writers. Reading is such a big influence on writers work. We tend to mimic our favorite pieces.

As we all know, part of the writing process is to get our work published. I am nowhere near this step and probably won’t be for a year or so. She has advised me to not go the self publishing route and to instead seek out an agent. I have not even begun to think about this step because I have to first have a perfect manuscript which is still in the process of being started.

I was so pleased to get a reply that I felt so overwhelmed by the information provided to me. I seek out advice and input from others as part of my writing research, so this advice has helped me tremendously. I am excited and terrified to take on this part of my journey. Having the encouragement and optimism is so great and has helped me get into the right mindset to finally be motivated to take the next step.

Thank you all for your input that you have provided. It has been most helpful.

Separation Anxiety?

My husband works for a business that sends a select few employees on a luxurious vacation every year as part of the presidents club. This year my husband was one of the chosen few. This trip is a plus one invitation. He asked me to accompany him and I said yes. This is going to be way out of my comfort zone because I don’t do much traveling and I don’t know any of the people he works with.

This is such a great opportunity for him especially since he hopes to move up in the company. The downside is we could not bring our children. Babies go through a phase where they have separation anxiety from their parents. My daughter has been suffering from this since she was born. I have been with her every second of the day since she was born because I’m a stay at home mom. I am getting so anxious about this trip. We don’t leave for a couple more months, but I am already having second thoughts. It sounds silly to think that I am having separation anxiety just thinking about leaving my babies.

I know they are going to be perfectly fine because they will be with family. I just worry that they will get anxious about us leaving them. I very rarely have anyone babysit them which may be the problem. I’m sure they won’t be too worried about us being gone on this trip. I’m just stressing out so bad. This can’t be normal.

Any thoughts on how to combat this?

Life Lessons

I don’t want to be a Debby downer, but I have always found writing to be very therapeutic. It helps me to get my thoughts out.

I like to think I’m a pretty optimistic person. I try to smile even when my depression rears its ugly face. Today was not one of those days where I could act like everything was okay.

A side note, I am a huge family person. I try to keep a close bond with family because they have helped me through a lot and I owe them for being there when I needed them. This post is not intended to show any dislike to my family. I simply am not pleased with the situation.

Part of my New Years resolution was to say no when it’s not necessary and a lot of what I have to say no to is my family. So in a way I have blocked out some negativity. My mother called me today and after this phone call I felt worse than I have in a couple months. I don’t feel that I need to go into specifics. My afternoon was filled with junk food and binge watching Netflix.

I finally got to a place where I was happier. I was okay with the fact that I finally took a stand for my life and am doing what I want to. Unfortunately, my mother chooses to remind me every chance she gets that I am a failure and have gone nowhere in life. I know she is wrong. I look at my kids and feel so much pride. They truly are my greatest accomplishment and blessing.

Well thank you all for taking the time to read this post. I look forward to continuing my journey and living my happiest life.

Tips to Becoming a Better Writer

As a writer I am constantly researching ways to become better at writing. I have discovered so many tips and a lot of advice. It is a bit overwhelming at times. I’ve come up with a list of tips that I have found help me. These tips are not just for professional writing, they also work when writing a paper or just writing for yourself in general.

  1. Read: reading books by good writers is essential. You get a taste of different styles. Some you may find are close to your own style of writing. It’s important to keep your imagination flowing not just with your own creative ideas but by others as well.

  2. Get an editor: this doesn’t have to be a professional person. Peer editing is important to the writing process. Find someone you trust to critique and give feedback to your writing. It’s always nice to have a second set of eyes.

  3. Capture ideas: my favorite is to evesdrop on conversations. Dialogue is a big part of novel writing. Hearing it naturally done will help. You can also get ideas for creative projects by situations you see.

  4. Write everyday: this ties into another tip that practice makes perfect. Some authors admit to carrying a notebook with them everywhere they go so they can write when inspiration hits them. You don’t, however, need to write a book. You can use a journal to jot down ideas or thoughts. A professor of mine admitted to taking part in a 10 minute mind dump everyday. He said that some of his entries didn’t make sense but that’s why it’s important.  You just write down anything and everything that comes to you.

  5. Get inspired: to do this, you need to put in the effort. Sit down with a blank page, go for a hike, watch movies, read. Anything to get the creative juices flowing.

  6. Find and use resources: we all have handy dandy phones that connect us directly to the internet. That is one of the most powerful resources at our fingertips. Other resources that are sometimes forgotten are bookstores or libraries. I pretty much live at my local library when inspiration hits me so I can do research and get quiet time.

I hope these tips help no matter what writing you find yourself doing. It’s important to find what works best for you.

My First Book Club Meeting

Today I took part in an adult book club meeting. I am a huge bookworm but I have never been part of a book club. As part of my New Years resolution, I decided to give it a try. I figured if I didn’t like it then I wouldn’t go back and if I did then I could continue. Right at this morning, I have not decided if I liked it or not.

The book we had to read for it was fantastic and I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. The women who were part of the book club are very nice and insightful. A down side is that I am the youngest person there. Everyone else is much older. I have no problem with age and enjoyed discussing this book with these women. But, I think it would have been nice to have at least one more person who was closer in age. I did enjoy all the different opinions. We each took something from the book that related to our personal lives and they weren’t the same at all.

I decided to give it another shot to see if I can make a decision. I don’t really have any reason not to like it. I just don’t know if discussing what I read is my thing. I’ve always been an independent reader, but it is nice to have other women to talk to and learn about.

If it hadn’t been for my resolution to get out of my shell and try something new, I probably wouldn’t have signed up. I will keep you all informed on my take of the next meeting.

What are your feelings on book clubs or any group type hobbies?

Doing My Research

I recently finished an amazing book called Before We Were Yours by Lisa Wingate. This is not a book review post, but I will take a moment to praise the author on her writing style. She did such a great job keeping the reader invested. I couldn’t put the book down. It’s a wonderful book for anyone who enjoys reading about true life events. The story line of the book is fictional, but the basis of the idea of the book is a true event.

When I read a book that says it is based on true events, I like to research the topic just to be sure. For this book, the research I have been doing is based on the Tennessee Children’s Home Society Scandal. This is such a sad and tragic event but fascinating at the same time. I feel so heartbroken for the children and families that were torn apart. I mourn the children who lost their lives to this scandal. Having children of my own, this hits extremely close to home.

I hope my fellow bookworms give this book a read. It is a fantastic book. I look forward to learning more about this scandal and reading more from this author as well.

For change or against it.

I was having a conversation with my grandfather whom I am quite close with. I mentioned my New Years resolutions about wanting to get out of my little bubble and change my life a bit. He’s quite old fashioned and is a firm believer that if something isn’t broken why fix it. He’s very stuck on his routines and doesn’t like things to be any different than they are.

I feel that change is good if it is going to improve things. I think putting myself out there to be challenges and experience new adventures and try new things is a good thing to do. He disagrees. While I appreciate his honestly and his opinions, I did explain that I am one to go for change.

My question to my follows is, do you believe change to be good or do you prefer to stay in the same routine? There’s no right or wrong answer of course and no judgments. I’m curious to see other’s opinions.